You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I want her autograph on my taint
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
