You just made me feel so damn special
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
