She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
