don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
