I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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