And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
