Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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