hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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