just come out here and I will go home with you...
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize