I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
the day after is always just damage control
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
did i just pee glitter
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
