Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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