she was so not down for the gang bang
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Randomize
