So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
