I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize