I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
