He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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