Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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