I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
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