I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Randomize
