i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
