i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
