they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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