1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
