can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
