Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
