if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
