Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
