I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
