Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
