wake up i wanna do it froggy style
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
