my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize