my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
