It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
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