at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
