this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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