Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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