So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
