omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
there's paper in my vomit.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
