So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize