Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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