This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize
