So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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