why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
