Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
