he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
