just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
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