I would go down on you faster than GM stock
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
