did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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