And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
