So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
