He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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