The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
