We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
