I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
