Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I did not marry a roomba.
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