You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
