everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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