I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
