do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
