u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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