I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
