this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
