mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I just forgot I was standing up.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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