I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
