just tell him i said nine months
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
