4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Sorry about my life...
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
